To the young soldiers
If I had to give advice to my younger brother, younger friends, or my younger self
It’s a special kind of folly to try to dispense wisdom to those younger than you. If I could go back and time and talk to my younger self, he’d just as well tell me to go fuck myself as listen. He’d describe me as jaded and out of touch. Everything I said he would have an exception to. I should know because my dad tried to warn me on some key stuff and I said similarly. Ah well, some people gotta learn the hard way.
On the other hand, sharing wisdom is its own reward, whether anyone is listening or not. It’s good for you to work it out in realtime and expound on it. And for the listener, young, wild and free, it will plant a seed in their spirit that may be watered and come to fruition in the rains of adversity to provide a canopy over their precious little heads, or occasionally they’ll demonstrate actual insanity by taking you at your word.
If I had to give my younger brother, a younger friend, a young stranger, or really anyone advice, I wouldn’t make it a discussion, I would make it like talking to my younger self back in time. That’s not because they don’t necessarily have anything to tell me or— more often— to remind me of, but because the whole point is that I have something to say that they literally haven’t even had the opportunity to live through. And I hope they don’t have to. Some people gotta learn the hard way, and I was one of them.
My little bro is in love with a girl. She’s going to break his heart to pieces because that’s what girls do, and because that’s what autistic guys (read: every guy reading this) do. But that’s okay. That’s what happens. I did it and you will too. Maybe you can avoid a few of the pitfalls we all fell into and spare yourself a bit of the pain.
I’d tell them:
You are going to fuck it up.
This frees you up because you’re going to take the L and how you handle that defines who you are.
Realizing that and living with it puts you above 90% of the guys on planet Earth.
You do not have the experience to get a girl.
When you chance into getting a girl, you do not have the experience to keep a girl.
That’s why I tell every guy I know, whether they’re 18 years old or seventy, to listen to Patrice O’Neal’s Black Philip Show. I’ve spent years studying women and living it, field research with various girls from all walks of life, and the standards hold true. No one anywhere sums it up as succinctly as Patrice O’Neal did on that one silly little haphazard radio show. It’s a show that can change the life of a twenty year old guy in his first relationship or a fifty year old guy in his fourth marriage. Every other piece of wisdom I got about women and relationships I would easily trade without a second thought for the glowing nuggets of wisdom ol’ Patreeky laid down in that chaotic Sirius radio show, a guy that from the grave puts pickup artists, redpill hucksters, and faggoty lifestyle coaches to shame in his elemental approach and universally applicable simplicity.
It’s a show that’s explicity for older guys, 30+, not looking for how to get a girl but how to keep a girl, but whether you’re single or happily (or more likely, unhappily) married, you can practically drown in the wisdom that this fairly obscure, random, obese black comedian dispensed like it was second nature.
And you should make it second nature to you.
Because when I did, my life got a lot better.
You don’t have the experience to keep her. I don’t say that to think I’m better than you. I still fight with my stupid wife every day. I say that because I look at older guys— and you can too, if you’re lucky enough to enter their spaces— and they don’t know what the fuck is going on either. If you or them want a clue, listen to ol’ Patreeky and take a lesson. If you come to my blog, may it be because you listened to him fifty times already and you’re looking for someone to expound and expand on it. Hopefully by that point you’ve developed your own philosophy on life and on women and you’ll be able to judge whether I’m talking shit. If I am, at least you can learn from my mistakes.
The wise man can take the good from the bad. The foolish man will take bad even from the good.
Little brother, you don’t have the skill to keep a girl. You don’t have the experience to make her yours, body and soul.
Once you realize this and let go of it, let go of your ego, you can just have fun and enjoy what you get, and it will come more naturally to you anyway.
You can’t duplicate the wisdom of an older man (coming in a later post.) You can’t duplicate the wisdom and hatred and pain of a man that fought tooth and nail for what he has for as many years as you’ve been alive. But you can learn a piece of wisdom by learning from our mistakes and realizing exactly why shit went the way it did for us. Simple as.
You want to learn something? Watch a single dad, a divorced man, a guy working sixty hours a week at a restaurant or oil rig job he hates but is stuck at. Learn from your dad. If you didn’t have one, find one.
You can take the stuff here and apply it to yourself. You can apply it to your peers and see what happens when they just do it their way— and make no mistake, I’m not saying you shouldn’t “do things your way.” I’m not selling a program. I gain no profit from you fucking your life or relationship up. I’m just trying to save you a little bit of a lot of pain.
And make no mistake, young brother, a lot of pain is coming your way. You need it to shape you into the man you’ll become.
You’re already a man? Good for you.
Make no mistake, I’m not telling you not to do things your own way. Adopting your own style isn’t the key of part of getting (and keeping) women. It’s the key part of living a life where your happiness is paramount.
And that happiness is what keeps you centered. It’s not a pleasure-seeking happiness, it’s a type of happiness (or what I and better men than me call contentment) that keeps us centered and able to perform.
Because our happiness trickles down to those under us and even around us. We are a font, a node in a system. We’re the kings of our castles, and even neighboring kings take notice and instruction from our successes and failures. Don’t be a failure, there’s plenty of such stories. (Sad. Many such cases!) Be a success story that inspires others. Even if it’s your future self.
My little brother, keep context, know where the game is at. Learn from your betters. Your little hussy may or may not end up being your wife or even the mother of your kids, but she’s probably going to end up being your ex-girlfriend or ex-wife probably before long.
What you’ll have at the end of the day is your boring, sad, depressed self. I will let the bitches pass over me and through me, but only I will remain.
"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."